"What happened to you?", asked his wife.
"I had a terrible day", replied Brian. "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag because he had this huge erection. Anyway, I went up and sure enough there was this big naked guy lying on the bed with this huge erection. So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half."
"I see", said his wife, "but how did you get the black eye?"
Brian replied, "Wrong room..."