?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Jeff's GeekBearCave on LJ

[no user serviceable parts inside.]


February 9th, 2005

happenings in Dave's life... @ 09:03 am

Mood: sad somber

As some of you know, njbigbear, Dave is my huzbear.

When we got home from work there were calls for Dave on the answering machine from his Aunt, Lois, in essence asking if she could give Dave's brother Ken phone numbers to contact him.

First, some background. (All of this is subject to the vagaries of my memory)...

Growing up, Dave's family was Jehovah's Witness.
Dave outed himself to the family and was ex-communicated from the church and family, if I remember correctly that was 22 to 25 years ago.
The last contacts that he had with the core of his family, Mom, Dad, Sister and several Brothers was back about 17 to 19 years ago when his father passed away in California.
Dave has basically not had any contact with his core family since then.
He and I visited some of his cousins and aunts and uncles in PA a couple of years ago and they are nice people, warm, friendly, giving and caring, etc...

So, Aunt Lois called lastnight, Dave called her back they chatted a little and he got Ken's telephone number and Lois's.

We chatted a little, Dave indicated the he could only think of one reason that Ken would contact him. (I'll get to that shortly.)

Dave called Ken and they started chatting. As you can probably imagine, Dave's stress level was pretty high and he seemed anxious, afterall, he was chatting with a brother that he had lost touch with, at the family's request, many many years ago.

Ken had contacted Dave to tell him that their Mother had passed away earlier in the day and that she had been sick for quite a while, and...

Apparently the conversation ventured into the 'why haven't you called arena' and it took a turn towards heated, so, I went over to sit by Dave and held and rubbed his hand and started whispering that it was going to be all right, you're doing good, calm down a little, etc.

A little while later Ken and Dave must have come to an understanding of what had happened and shortly they were reminiscing about places that they grew up and people that they knew and started catching up on the family's whereabouts. Dave proceeded to talk with Ken for about 1 1/2 hours. In the end of the conversation, he exchanged phone numbers and addresses with Ken and got some information about some of the other living family members that Ken had information about. It seems that there 1 or 2 of the brothers that they had lost touch with.

I did the dishes and reheated some of the gimixtie from the other night and we ate.

Dave was pretty quiet most of the evening and seemed a little in shock or depressed lastnight and is a little quiet this morning as he sits behind me eating cereal and checking e-mail.

[HUG]I'm here for you...
 
Share  |  |

Comments

 
[User Picture Icon]
From:woofy191
Date:February 9th, 2005 02:10 pm (UTC)
(Link)
sorry to heraabout his mom , but hey everything happens for a reason , and its through the worst of times, our love and bonds are teh strongest , maybe his bond with his brother will grow again , and that would be great - wishing all the best
From:mrwhistlebear
Date:February 9th, 2005 02:40 pm (UTC)
(Link)
[HUG]I'm here for you...

Me, too. I'll email or call dave later today.
[User Picture Icon]
From:njbearcub1
Date:February 9th, 2005 04:51 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Thank you for letting us know about this, Jeff. I feel so bad hearing about Dave's Mom, even though it's slightly tempered by the fact that Dave and Ken are back in contact.

Please sneak up behind him, give him a hug that lasts a few minutes, and tell him that it's from me, until I get to give him one in person.
[User Picture Icon]
From:geekbearjeff
Date:February 11th, 2005 04:45 am (UTC)
(Link)
done!
From:airbearma
Date:February 9th, 2005 05:29 pm (UTC)
(Link)
I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of Dave's mom.

I know that Dave has to be dealing with a number of mixed emotions right now. I really wish I were there to give him a big HUGGGG in person. He will definitely be in my thoughts.

HUGGGGGS to both of you!
[User Picture Icon]
From:supercub
Date:February 9th, 2005 05:32 pm (UTC)

Please......

(Link)
Give daddy bear a Hug from me, so wish i could be there.

lov ya
[User Picture Icon]
From:geekbearjeff
Date:February 11th, 2005 04:45 am (UTC)

Re: Please......

(Link)
done!
[User Picture Icon]
From:rwcubdad
Date:February 9th, 2005 06:49 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Very sorry to hear about Dave's mom. Please let him know we're thinking about him. Give him a special big hug from us and we`ll call you guys this weekend. Love you both!
[User Picture Icon]
From:geekbearjeff
Date:February 11th, 2005 04:45 am (UTC)
(Link)
done!
[User Picture Icon]
From:gr8grizz
Date:February 10th, 2005 05:31 am (UTC)
(Link)
I'm so sorry about this for you guys. If there is anything Dave and I can do don't hesitate to ask.

Jeff's GeekBearCave on LJ

[no user serviceable parts inside.]