February 9th, 2005

jeff short hair numb head tilt puppy

happenings in Dave's life...

As some of you know, njbigbear, Dave is my huzbear.

When we got home from work there were calls for Dave on the answering machine from his Aunt, Lois, in essence asking if she could give Dave's brother Ken phone numbers to contact him.

First, some background. (All of this is subject to the vagaries of my memory)...

Growing up, Dave's family was Jehovah's Witness.
Dave outed himself to the family and was ex-communicated from the church and family, if I remember correctly that was 22 to 25 years ago.
The last contacts that he had with the core of his family, Mom, Dad, Sister and several Brothers was back about 17 to 19 years ago when his father passed away in California.
Dave has basically not had any contact with his core family since then.
He and I visited some of his cousins and aunts and uncles in PA a couple of years ago and they are nice people, warm, friendly, giving and caring, etc...

So, Aunt Lois called lastnight, Dave called her back they chatted a little and he got Ken's telephone number and Lois's.

We chatted a little, Dave indicated the he could only think of one reason that Ken would contact him. (I'll get to that shortly.)

Dave called Ken and they started chatting. As you can probably imagine, Dave's stress level was pretty high and he seemed anxious, afterall, he was chatting with a brother that he had lost touch with, at the family's request, many many years ago.

Ken had contacted Dave to tell him that their Mother had passed away earlier in the day and that she had been sick for quite a while, and...

Apparently the conversation ventured into the 'why haven't you called arena' and it took a turn towards heated, so, I went over to sit by Dave and held and rubbed his hand and started whispering that it was going to be all right, you're doing good, calm down a little, etc.

A little while later Ken and Dave must have come to an understanding of what had happened and shortly they were reminiscing about places that they grew up and people that they knew and started catching up on the family's whereabouts. Dave proceeded to talk with Ken for about 1 1/2 hours. In the end of the conversation, he exchanged phone numbers and addresses with Ken and got some information about some of the other living family members that Ken had information about. It seems that there 1 or 2 of the brothers that they had lost touch with.

I did the dishes and reheated some of the gimixtie from the other night and we ate.

Dave was pretty quiet most of the evening and seemed a little in shock or depressed lastnight and is a little quiet this morning as he sits behind me eating cereal and checking e-mail.

[HUG]I'm here for you...
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jeff short hair stoic


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Odd, my dad passed away 12/2003, was born 2/1929, he was 74y 10m when he died.
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